from our family to yours...

a gift...

a great grandfather's very tiny infant ring may have found itself under our non-existent tree this year, in time for camden's first taste of christmas morning...this weekend consisted of the bush side of our little familia and it was just as magical as any christmas morning...with a little guy all ready to eat some wrapping paper and tear to shreds what he could. true to baby form he could have been a little more interested in actually playing with what was in the carefully wrapped paper...but then we wouldn't have gotten this classic shot...

cheers to a very merry christmas!

twenty something...

at the grocery store today, i looked around and noticed i was in a sea of mothers...they were mostly young mothers driving to and fro in their minivans and suv's, toting one or two young children along side...carrying their strategically packed diaper bags and mastering the careful art of distraction. i looked around and wondered when i became this...when i jumped from single twenty something to wife and mother, and you could say it was the day i had camden, but it was more subtle than that for me...because i still catch myself thinking that i am just eighteen and then i notice the car seat behind me and the ring on my finger. but here i am...juggling this life i strategically plotted out for myself and until now, i was fairly unaware that my ziploc bags filled with cheerios, my pre-filled bottles, my diaper tote, the dried baby food stain on my jeans, the tiny sweatshirt bundled in my bag and this child attached at my hip designated me as a twenty something mother...and i couldn't be more happy about it...

it happened...

on tuesday, i was at a doctors appointment, for myself actually, but brought along the little man because he has a runny, stuffy nose and i didn't want to inflict a cold upon any potential sitters. camden and i sat patiently in the waiting room and we were soon joined by a vibrant older woman who started a conversation about how ridiculously cold it is in utah right now, and of course i had to agree, being that it was fifteen degrees outside. she had an accent, it sounded european of some sort...i couldn't quite place it. she was oodeling over camden for a little while. we spoke of how tiny he was and that she had a granddaughter that was also very tiny, and she cooed and got him to smile a great big grin...and after a couple of minutes of exclaiming how adorable he was...she asked..."does he have down syndrome?"

i have thought of this moment for a while now...every time a stranger asked to see my little guy i waited for this question...i wondered if it would sting, i wondered how i would respond, i wondered if i would cry.

but i surprised myself...i smiled, and answered: "yes, yes he does!" and then i waited for the sting...but it never came.

and then something more surprising happened...this vibrant woman sitting next to me, who i had only known for maybe five minutes, began to cry. they were silent tears, and as she wiped them away she looked at me and said " i have such a special place in my heart for these little kids, i know they were sent here to teach us how to love".

i didn't quite know what to do, or how to respond, so i just listened...and she went on to explain that her very good friend had a boy with down syndrome, who was now in his thirties, and how special he was, and her many other encounters.

she was then called back by the doctor, and i was left in the waiting room alone, with my little boy. and i waited for the emotions to come, and i wondered which would join me in that room...i didn't feel anger, i didn't feel sadness, i didn't feel jealousy...i felt blessed.