the sun rose...

the sun rose today....and camden's face lit up!

mommy tries and tries all day long...peek a'boo...kisses....tickles....and dad comes home and pushes him into the air and the oh so awaited smile finally flashes across his face....and we love it!

ma'am....

i can honestly begin this post by saying that i have always felt quite young....not only because i went about 85% of my life thus far being told i looked too young....but because i felt young too! after all, i am only twenty-five right? twenty-five....and today as i awaited my mouthwatering in 'n out burger with my tiny little one curled up in the back seat of my car, i was feeling pretty good....the sun was beating down, the stereo was blasting my favorite tunes and i was actually out of the house....i was feeling pretty good until i got up to that first window to pay for that mouthwatering burger and the guy at the window said "you have a good day ma'am"....what!? ma'am? what does that even mean? i have never been called ma'am....well today was a first for mommy....so many firsts have been for camden lately....and here is one just for me and it has to be "ma'am"....so there i was, in shock and disbelief because the guy at the counter (who was probably in his twenties himself) was politely calling me ma'am....and then i looked at that beautiful ring on my finger and glanced backwards at that cute little man of mine and thought....i guess ma'am isn't so bad after all.

~

camden has been holding up his head like a champ lately....and even gets his chest up at times too! and is trying ever so hard to pull those little knees up underneath himself...

can't get enough...

sometimes i just can't get enough of that cute little face of yours and all of your amazing expressions...i wish i could take pictures all of the time to capture that oh so cute personality of yours...you are even cute when you are past out....love it.

one toe at a time....

photo by billy bush
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i'm not the kind of person who does a cannonball straight into the water without thinking twice...i'm that person who dips one toe in at a time before she decides she wants to jump in....i have to work up to things...but if i have learned anything in the last six weeks it's that sometimes life doesn't wait for you to dip that toe in, sometimes, life reaches out of that water and pulls you in by that toe, usually when you aren't looking. but when you realize what has happened, after the initial stun of the cold water, somehow you remember to swim. you kick your feet and you move your arms through that water and you swim. then you realize, that that water isn't so bad and you are suddenly thankful that life didn't wait for you, because you can feel that water all around you, moving through you and you wouldn't rather be anywhere else. so you are thankful that someone knows you better than you know yourself, so thankful.

dear camden....

there are moments when i think you see me, your beautiful steel blue eyes can see right through me...and then i kiss your little neck and you grimace like you are already a teenager thinking "geez mom"...and i laugh to myself and think boy am i in for quite the ride with this one...and then you sigh...your cute little "ahh" sound and i melt at your lovely little sounds and think to myself...quite the ride.

~
mommy left you alone with daddy (for a split second) and a plate full of yummy chocolate covered fortune cookies (thanks camille)...when i came back you greeted me like this....
i think you liked that chocolate experience of yours...silly daddy.

reflecting....

so when we were in the hospital, just after they told us about camden and down syndrome we had quite a few visitors....the normal friends and family of course but also a lot of "support" for cam...like occupational and speech therapists as well as early intervention and an introduction to the down syndrome foundation...it really was so good to feel and see all of the people that would love our little camden throughout his life. when the down syndrome foundation came they gave us a booklet with a ton of information for new parents...(it covered mostly things like....why, how and what.....but it also had a lot of stories of encouragement and love)....i found the following poem in that booklet and it really confirmed my feelings about my little one...

~
Before He sent each of His children to earth,
He gave each of them a very carefully
selected package of problems.

These, He promised, smiling, are yours alone.
No one else may have the blessings
these problems will bring you.

And only you have the special talents
and abilities that will be needed
to make these problems your servants.

Now go down to your birth and to your forgetfulness,
Know that I love you beyond measure.
These problems that I give you
are a symbol of that love.

The monument that you make of your life
with the help of your problems
will be a symbol of your love for me,
your father.
~

by Blaine Yorgason

~
billy and i feel so blessed to live in a time where so much is available for little camden...in a time where he will be able to get the care he needs to master his new life here. we are so thankful for all of the people that will be in and out of his life and touch it for the better....

rolling over...

this morning camden rolled over!!! from his stomach to his back....a lot! we even got video! :) so fun so fun! yay for camden!

holding up his head....

so yes...i have decided to become the gloating mother for a bit...'cause camden is like a new little baby....holding up his head and all...i love it! he has also started to make cute little noises and i love them too...we especially like the oh so cute sigh of "ahhhh" so fun! the little man is one month old wednesday! i can't believe how fast the time has gone....

sorry about the video quality it's hard to watch while you are trying to video something on your phone!

doctors....

i think camden has seen more doctors in his 2.5 weeks of life than i have in my 25 years... sometimes it gets really hard to see them prick his already scabbed up foot just one more time...but we know it is for the best...

~

cam man had a big week this week...he was circumsized on tuesday when we went to see the pediatrician...(they waited a little while with him until his platelet count went up a little so that his blood would clot properly) so good news is that his platelet count went up...bad news is that we have a pretty tender little man down there! yikes! the doctor asked if one of us wanted to go in and hold his little hand...neither of us could bare the thought of his little screams...i felt like a horrible parent sending him in all by his lonesome...but the doc put a little sugar in his mouth and the kid could have been in a car wreck and not known what hit him! :) he was zoned....he sucked on his little lips for about an hour after! note to self: sugar is like a drug for babies....today camden had another appointment with the cardiologist to review his eco cardiograms and do an ekg...pretty sure he looked like he was being plugged into the matrix haha...everything looked great! the cardiologist said she was confident everything would close on their own and that the hole that would have needed open heart surgery was so small that it wouldn't be worth the surgery (fingers crossed it closes or stays small!) we won't need to be seeing the cardiologist again until the little guy is 3 whole months old! yay!

~

we have two more appointments next week, a kidney ultrasound and another visit to the pediatrician....in the mean time though the doc gave us the ok to start weaning cam off of the oxygen...horray! still on it...but is off a little while during the day...and on it again at night...but we are so excited to start cutting down on his chords! :) keep up the good work camden!

sleep deprivation....

you know that the infamous "sleep deprivation" is setting in when your morning coversation with your husband looks like this...

billy: so i was impressed with your ability to pass out mid sentence last night...
me: what?
billy: ya when you were reading scriptures you made it to "and nephi said..." without a hitch and then you were all of a sudden asleep....
me: what?! we read scriptures?

so pretty sure i think i started reading scriptures while i was already asleep :) being that i don't remember reading them at all...i didn't quite make it hahahahaha....

good news though...camden only woke up once the past two nights! go cam man!!!

teasers.....

today billy and his dad held a photo shoot in honor of the little man...being that we are using them in his announcements i can't post all of our shots but i thought i would throw out some teasers....

photos by billy and bill bush

bath time....

i promise he liked it.... when we had the warm wash cloth over his little belly... yay for baths! yay for clean, yummy smelling babies!!
~
bath time started out just like most other baths...get baby naked...fill up tub...but then bath time took a turn...when camden pooped all over grandma bush...yes that's right pooped...hahahaha....i can laugh because it wasn't me...too funny! so prospective mothers out there...they tell you to watch out for little boy's pee....but i think they should fore warn you that their poop can spray out too! :)

camden's birthday shots...

yay for baby bush!

home....

our little guy is home sweet home.....

greetings from the nicu...

camden is still doing better every day...they switched him to take home oxygen today...one step closer now! and they let us know that tomorrow will probably be the day we get to wrap the little guy up and take him home!! yay!

~

here is a little more detail on our little man's health....an ultrasound on his heart showed that he has three issues....a small hole (that is normal before birth) is suppose to close at the time you breathe in your first breath of oxygen, it didn't close with camden...this is not necessarily abnormal for any newborn...and the dr's are hoping that after a little while this little hole will close on its own. he also has a leaky valve, which again may correct itself over time being that all of his blood is flowing correctly through the heart still. camden also has another hole, which is common in babies with down syndrome, and not uncommon with people in general....this hole won't close on its own and depending on how it effects his quality of living may need open heart surgery to correct....the dr's are trying to hold off on surgery until he is at least 6 months old so that his little body can be stronger and he will be able to react better to the surgeries.

~

we are just so excited to be able to get our little guy home and start life....keep your fingers crossed that he holds up from here on out so that we can start cuddling with our camden! thanks again for all of your love and support...

~

the bush family

update....

the little man is doing well....improving every day....we won't be able to take the little guy home though until at least monday now....:(....but that's ok because we want him to be as healthy as possible!!! we did get some good news today though...they are taking out his feeding tube because he is doing so well with nursing/bottle feeding! yay! he will probably be off his iv tonight too if he keeps those blood sugar levels up!

he has another test on his heart sometime monday and he will probably be coming home on oxygen for a bit...but home none the less!!!

keep it up camden!! we want to bring you home!

camden's resort experience....

please pray for our camden....

we are so excited and feel so blessed to have camden in our lives now....he was born january 24, 2010, weighed 6 lbs 5 oz and was 19 inches long...one week early because he is just such a good boy and listened to mom....

billy and i are so humbled and happy to call him ours...

on monday morning our little guy caught us a little off guard....we were told that our precious little man has down syndrome....billy and i were obviously a little in shock but couldn't have felt more at peace....we know that our heavenly father has a plan for our little family and are so excited to begin the journey. the three of us...because of his diagnosis camden has been dealing with some other issues....although so healthy in most ways he is struggling with his little heart while his special spirit is trying to adjust to this new body of his....so the three of us have been in the nicu (newborn intensive care unit) for a couple of days and will probably be there until at least friday....

although we feel so blessed by little camden we are asking for your prayers to help us get through this newest trial of ours and to help camden's little heart adjust so that we can bring our little guy home to introduce him to the world....thanks so much for all of your love and support! we appreciate it very very much.

tonya, billy and little camden....

hoping....

that this is it! just waiting for these contractions to get a little closer together and then hopefully the next post will be from the hospital! so fun! come on baby bush!!! (don't be fooled...the contractions really hurt...i am just in between and trying to stay preoccupied! haha)

38 weeks and counting down....

so i realize i have been a horrible blogger lately....probably because i blog on my off time at work usually and well i've been training someone for the last month or so, so jumping on to update has been a little difficult...but i do have some updates for you....

~

update 1: (counting backwards)
we are 38 weeks today! yay! and he just keeps getting bigger...the pregnancy book says my growth should slow down in the next few weeks....i am thinking not...poor little guy has no room in there at all....that belly is all baby.... :) and although hard to tell in pictures the little guy has dropped...i can feel it...and during contractions the shape of his little booty is about 3 inches below where it has been :) and my ribs feel oh so much better....so that's exciting....the last week or so contractions have become more frequent (thursday they were 15 minutes or so apart for a couple hours, friday it got to 10 minutes and saturday after our 8 hour birthing class they got to about 5-7 minutes for 1.5 hours ) and they were a little more painful than usual! so all in all exciting stuff....we are just waiting for the real thing now!update 2: baby bush had his second baby shower...thrown by grandma bush's sister chris! thank you so much for all of your hard work! the baby wanted me to tell everyone that he sure loves all of his fun new stuff....and dad and i are beginning to worry that this little guy may be on the spoiled side....but that's ok 'cause we are all about spoiling him :) he even got his very own accordian to play along with grandpa bush! oh yes...here are a few pics....

update 3: grandma and grandpa bush and aunt lindsey,uncle jordan and uncle chase came down a few weeks ago too and we ate at cafe madrid...kind of a last time thing before baby comes being that it's a nicer restaurant...the restaurant was very good...and billy and his papa were in heaven eating authentic paella and tortilla just like on their missions in spain...the other food was amazing as well too! and we all had a great time! thanks bush familia!

yum yum! paella...

stay tuned in blogger buds because at my rate...the next time i jump on this thing it might just be to post pictures of our newest little family member! so fun!