a birthday...

one year ago, i became a mother.

one year ago, i could hear nurses whisper...and an ob asked to speak to us in private...one year ago they said they saw those almond eyes...one year ago billy and i were too afraid of the what ifs so we didn't speak of them at all. one year ago our family welcomed their first perfect grandchild...and they had no idea about the concerns the doctor had brought up to billy and i. one year ago, camden's lips turned blue and whispers continued...and our new baby was wheeled in and out of the nursery with concern and hushed faces. one year ago i hoped the doctors were wrong. one year ago i had no idea how much my life would change. one year ago i didn't know camden.

those feelings are all still raw and fresh, but they are different somehow...they are new, they come with love and understanding and the knowledge that everything will be more than alright.

if i have learned anything over the last year, it is how to love...fully and without conditions, without limits and with appreciation. camden made me a mother for the first time and he has taught me more than i would have ever dreamed possible. as we celebrate today we celebrate camden. we celebrate love, we celebrate limitless possibilities. we celebrate a new way of life, a good way of life. we celebrate the little things, we celebrate our family and we celebrate life's surprises...because they mold you, they make you better, they bring more than your plans ever would have allowed.

thank you camden...for everything you are, and everything that you will grow up to be.

happy first birthday bud!