The other side...

If there is one thing that we as parents of our special little ones would probably echo in sentiment...it is that we do not want people to feel sorry for us.  And we are well aware when people do...because most of us were in that same position before we had our kids, we know pretty well how it goes.  But I am here to say, from the other side of that tall fence, that there is nothing to be sorry about. Have we cried over our kids, absolutely! But haven't you? Come on be honest...it is the plight of parenthood to bring into this life a beautiful little soul that you would do anything for...it causes sleepless nights, tears, boundless joy, it takes work and effort and our lifestyles, and for some, a lot of medical bills. But we do it! Because most parents would do anything for their children.

And I know where that other side of the fence is, because I have been there...maybe I didn't have a kid at the time, but I know how it goes. You see others' "situations" and you hug your own kid a little tighter and pray that your strength isn't tested as a parent in the same way that theirs was...you thank the heavens as you pat your growing womb that your ultrasound came out clear, that your kid doesn't have those issues. You have that "what if" conversation with your husband and some of you think you couldn't handle it, and some of you say "they would still be your baby so you would love them no matter what" as you secretly hope it would never, ever come to that. I know these things, because that was me too. 

But I am here to shout from the rooftop...that my son, is nothing to be sorry over.  Will he have it harder than some? Sure...but I am a firm believer that we are all tested, that we all have it hard in our very own ways...no one gets away in this life without trial, without obstacles....it is why we are here. But I know that that fence we secretly put up between our own hardships and the hardships of those around us is a tall one...that each of us look at the other and think, thank goodness that is not my trial. And I am here to say, I do not believe that God plays favorites.  Camden will have hardships, kids will be mean to him....but kids will be mean to your kids at some point too, it is part of life.  He will struggle to learn things, but he will also excel at others....just like your kids.  There will be days when he comes home in tears, because life isn't fair...haven't we all?

And I as his parent have to think about medical issues, and developmental delays, therapy and evaluations that began at birth...I am forced to compare my child to typical children and then I am asked if I think he is developing the same...and I have days where the realities of a diagnosis hits hard. But I do not feel sorry for my son, and I do not feel sorry for myself...because with the hardship of our trials comes the pure love and joy of a child I would never give back.  The lessons he teaches everyday to those around him are further reaching than anyone else I have ever encountered.  The way that he has taught me to love, to see the world, is a way that I wish all people had access to, I can tell you that this world would be a lot better off if they did.

I am not stronger than you are...I am not a different kind of parent.  I am just that, a parent...I have been given the greatest gift that my Father in heaven could have bestowed upon me, a child...and he is perfect and he is loved because he is who he was meant to be, my Camden.