Friday, July 30, 2010

greetings from sunny california....

photos by cole caldwell
more to come...

Thursday, July 22, 2010

tickles....

around 6:30 this morning camden woke up for his first bottle...we ate in mommy's bed and cuddled until he fell asleep again...mommy loves it when we get morning snuggle time.... but this morning was the best....because after a thirty minute nap mom woke up to tiny fingers tickling her forehead ever so gently....once i zoned in enough to realize what was going on and wonder why bug hadn't just grabbed onto my hair like he usually does...i opened my eyes, and a full fledged grin flashed across cam's little face....it was beautiful and a lovely way to start a day....
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we also wanted to mention how excited we are for our playdate with camden's friends on august 7th! if you live in the area, have a kiddo with a little something extra and want to join in on the fun see here.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

raw....

i still have a day, a moment, when life hits me, hard. when i read a story or remember my own, or add another chapter and my eyes begin to well up and the tears start to pour...and i can't help but be overwhelmed with life. and it's hard not to imagine or try to remember what my life was like before six months ago...because the feelings are so raw and i feel so unprotected now. there are times through this life when every emotion is right on the surface of your skin and it stings and you want to hide from it...and hiding is what i would have done six months ago...but i can't hide from life anymore...and i am thankful for that. because with every raw burn the immensity of full joy immediately follows...when i look into that little face that i have been blessed to be able to see each day....who sees me...and while sitting on my lap noticed the tears pouring down and looked up at his momma with a little grin and grabbed my arm as if to say, it's ok mom, it will always be ok....i am so thankful for my gift, for the rawness of life that i have been blessed with, and the ability to see and feel it...to soak every inch of it in.

Monday, July 19, 2010

the joys....

i know i promised pictures of idaho next....and i promise they are coming...i just keep forgetting to have billy move them off of his camera...which i would do if i knew which of his 10 memory cards they are on...and how to go from raw to jpeg...which i don't, so idaho is coming soon, hopefully before our trip to california next week...busy summer!
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so i have been a little disheartened the last few days....bug has decided he hates solid food...i thought at first i was feeding him too late...so i moved up the time a couple of hours....still not working with the rice cereal...and then i tried going from making it with pear juice (which we have been trying for a while because, well, you know why...) back to breastmilk...still no go...then we tried mixing it with peaches a few days ago....nope....then we tried oatmeal mixed with sweet potatoes today....nada....i even bought different spoons thinking maybe he doesn't like the rubber ones anymore...nothing has worked....
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so i have decided to try finger feeding the baby food just to get him to taste things for a few weeks and trying the rice cereal in a bottle....if that still doesn't work then we might just have to take a break....which is hard to swallow for me because it's not like he never liked rice cereal! so i know he is ready because he gulped it up three weeks ago! and it's not just rice cereal he is refusing it is everything! so we will keep trying....but it's really hard to see him squirm with the heeby jeebies when he sees the spoon coming at him...and even harder to watch him gag after i get the stuff into his mouth! oh boy...he is a stubborn one...
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i've also been struggling with the fact that cam is approaching the big 6 month mark...oh yes...this week in fact....and he is doing great...and i am so excited for him...but i can't help but feel that we will really start to see the delays soon...and maybe i am wrong...but i keep looking at all of the milestones that are fast approaching and wondering if he will make it...i know that i shouldn't...what happened to letting camden decide when he is ready.... i do this every once in a while...i forget that camden is a kid...and well, all kids decide their own timeline...and camden is no different....so i have to remind myself to push when we can....and leave the rest up to him...but it gets hard to remember that sometimes...
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ok, enough with the venting...have i mentioned how much we have loved this month and the blossoming from an infant into a big baby...my little guy looks more and more like a little boy each day and although hard to watch because, well, what mom doesn't try to stop time and yell at nature to slow down just a tad...i am enjoying him right now, just as he is...but then he does something new...something exciting....he shows some personality....and i fall in love all over again with this little boy....and i give into nature and say ok this stage is good too...but no more growing ok!
yes the ear holding has made its way into our teething process...but he doesn't seem too upset with them, hopefully teething is all that it is...

Saturday, July 10, 2010

news....

so we have been in idaho for the last week....it was amazing...and i will post more about it once i load all of the pictures...but i wanted to stop in because i noticed i forgot to post some news that we got about camden before we left...
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cam had another cardiologist appointment...we got good news! the blood pressure in his lungs has now stabilized and although the a.s.d. (atrial septic defect) is still visible in his heart, we are cardiologist free until camden is a big one year old! meaning....no more oxygen...no surgery (for now) and a healthy little boy!!
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we are still on watch for any issues that may arise...and the cardiologist let us know that this type of hole has increased in size before....but she was pretty confident that our strong little boy could still close it up on his own...we will be keeping those fingers crossed!!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

drumroll please....

camden rolled today...from his back to his tummy...all by his lonesome...and since he has been rolling from tummy to back for three and a half months now...he is a rolling machine...and can no longer be left to his own devices...i do have a video...but i can't figure out how to get it off of my phone since i guess the file is too large to send out...boo...so you will have to take my word for it until i get it figured out....or get another video...yay for milestones!!!

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