Wednesday, July 21, 2010


i still have a day, a moment, when life hits me, hard. when i read a story or remember my own, or add another chapter and my eyes begin to well up and the tears start to pour...and i can't help but be overwhelmed with life. and it's hard not to imagine or try to remember what my life was like before six months ago...because the feelings are so raw and i feel so unprotected now. there are times through this life when every emotion is right on the surface of your skin and it stings and you want to hide from it...and hiding is what i would have done six months ago...but i can't hide from life anymore...and i am thankful for that. because with every raw burn the immensity of full joy immediately follows...when i look into that little face that i have been blessed to be able to see each day....who sees me...and while sitting on my lap noticed the tears pouring down and looked up at his momma with a little grin and grabbed my arm as if to say, it's ok mom, it will always be ok....i am so thankful for my gift, for the rawness of life that i have been blessed with, and the ability to see and feel soak every inch of it in.


  1. This made me cry and really hit home. I love this post!!!

  2. Made me teary as well. I know this feeling you're expressing, I've been there, you're right we're so blessed!

  3. And you know what? It really and truly will be okay. It will be better than okay. I promise.

    And so does Camden.


    Tammy and Parker

  4. take it one day at a time. today, our little one is 9 months. some things are hard and most things are beyond good. sending hugs your way!

  5. I love you Tonya Rae....the tears are because of the absolute love you have for Camden...and know that he has chosen you, Tonya, to be his mother because of your strength and love for our Heavenly Father. Camden watched you for a long time before blessing you here on earth with his special smile and touch.


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