family....

we made an unexpected trip up to visit with billy's family this weekend...we are so thankful that they live close enough to be able to make quick trips like we do. having camden has really brought the importance of family to the forefront for me, and i am thankful for that. we may be making a few trips up to idaho over the next little while...to visit with some family, because you never know when something might happen, and the family dynamic will change...so we are taking advantage of the family that we have right now.

billy and i loved this restaurant when we were dating...it was called sato's...he took me here the night he proposed. the restaurant closed for a while shortly after that, but has reopened under new management and a new name...and yet is still very similar.

look who was a big boy...and thought he was too big to sit in a highchair.

don't you love his tight lipped smile in this one?

losing track of time...

camden is fourteen months...fourteen! he is officially over the one year line, my big boy...more a toddler each and every day. i'm not really certain where the time has gone...but i am certain that it keeps on ticking by. i can with confidence say that we made it through the month of march alive, and without illness (knock on wood that we had the worst of this season in the beginning)...

this month camden has successfully passed his hearing and one year health exam with early intervention, completed his elap (one year developmental test), checked in with his cardiologist (nothing has changed, and no news is good news in the world of heart kids), scheduled a surgery for a not so fun boy place with his urologist for next month, completed evaluations for speech and physical therapy which we are starting as well next month (weekly), made some new friends at a new fun mom and me kindermusik class through early intervention, passed all of his blood draws for our one year pediatric visit (good to go on thyroids and no leukemia signs), checked in at the down syndrome clinic in salt lake to make sure mom and dad are covering all of our bases, checked in with our friends through our ds playgroup and acquired an annual pass to the living planet aquarium (play date anyone?)

and through all of our running around to doctors, therapists and play dates i have found out a few valuable things about my son....

1. the kid is happy and healthy

2. my child is fiercely shy

3. but won't hesitate to ham it up once you are inducted into the "um, i guess you pass as a friend club"

4. i have one stubborn little boy

5. who eats a lot of sweet potatoes and beta carotene, at least that's what his orange tinted face told the pediatrician

6. aquafor is a heaven sent (for chapped cheeks)

7. and little feet and legs that are hardly ever adorned by socks and shoes because somebody won't keep them on for more than five seconds ( i lost track of how many sets are now m.i.a)

8. he understands a whole lot more than he wants to let on to
9. his elap results don't dictate what he is capable of

10. out of everywhere in the salt lake valley, he would rather be at home with his very best of friends...that baby on the other side of the mirror, man he is cute.

i'm in love.

redefining expectations...

every parent would like to think of their child as capable of anything. after all "you can do anything that you put your mind to". when a child is born the mother looks straight into its eyes and envisions the future...bio-engineer, teacher, dancer, sports star, president..."they can do anything they put their mind to". sometimes a parent will go as far as to try to help mold that child into exactly what it is that they want that child to be...dance classes, musical instruments, language courses, gymnastics, sports...the list goes on and on. but, inevitably every parent is faced with the same reality..."they can do anything they put their mind to"...and the parent realizes that although they can push their child to meet said child's full potential they can't shape them to do what the parent wants them to do. the child decides the direction, the child decides their potential, the child decides their limits. and although we would like to continue to envision our potential future rock stars we are brought back down to earth when our child decides he/she wants absolutely nothing to do with that piano we just dumped who knows what dollar amount into. and so, every parent ends up back at square one with a blank stare and wonder as they watch their child figure out who they are and want to become.

a down syndrome diagnosis comes with a lot of different expectations...instead of looking toward bio-engineering our horizon changes and our expectations become more, genuine. "i want my child to be whatever he puts his little mind to"...i still want him to reach for those stars, because i know that he has a wealth of limitless potential, but really, i want him to be an upstanding, productive member of society...and honestly, isn't that what we should expect out of all of our children? so with that, what defines productive? if his limitless potential is defined without even a glimmer of biology (i hate science too p.s.) is he not productive? has he not reached his full potential? no...his potential just happened to not favor science...and what if my little one continues to live at home with mom and dad through his older age and works as a bus boy for forty years...has he not become a productive member of society?

i know that my child will make those around him smile, i know that he will thrive, even if it isn't in science, i know that he will contribute love and caring and a good heart to the world and i know that he will create a limitless wealth of value. so really, it doesn't matter if he doesn't become the president of the united states...but it does matter that he lives his life to full capacity, that he loves to full capacity and that he laughs to full capacity, because that is what it's all about.

~

today we celebrate world down syndrome awareness day...march 21st was chosen because our littles carry three copies of the twenty-first chromosome. and as we celebrate today we celebrate the limitless potential for our children to be happy, to be healthy, to be productive members of the societies in which we live and to be loved and accepted for who they are...we expect, instead of accept and we love that little bit of extra.

tick tock....

i use to be a time counter...i use to watch the clock...count the days...the minutes...will he make it? he is so close...next month for sure...christmas...his birthday. and each and every day i would hear the tick tock.

i have learned something this year...camden's clock runs at a different pace than mine. it still ticks and it still tocks...and it still makes it from the twelve to the one...two...three...and so on. the final destination is the same as mine...but the journey is just a little different (dare i say, a little better). it is a smoother ride, with all of the tiny steps of babyhood at a pace that i can count. it hasn't rushed by...it has waited for me to jump on, to join in.

and as i watch my little one speak eloquently to himself in the mirror, and lean in to give himself sweet little baby kisses i am thankful. thankful that his tick tocks waited for me.

and now a plug for the ndss

a playdate...

we love having so many friends so close... thanks kristin for letting us steal all of your cute photos! (mine were all blurry of course, yay for phone cameras)

we had so much fun!