i'll walk with you...

i had a moment yesterday...they don't come often anymore...and they are rarely accompanied by pain of any sort.

in primary at church (i help with kids ages 3-11) the kids were learning this song....

"If you don't walk as most people do, some people walk away from you, But I won't, I won't!

If you don't talk as most people do, some people talk and laugh at you, But I won't, I won't!

I'll walk with you. I'll talk with you. That's how I'll show my love for you.

"Jesus walked away from none, He gave his love to everyone. So I will, I will!

Jesus blessed all he could see, Then turned and said, 'Come follow me'. 

I'll talk with you, Ill walk with you. That's how Ill show my love for you".

and i held it in...but after 3 times through the song i couldn't anymore and made the choice to retreat to the restroom before the kids started wondering why i was balling.

i knew that song, i had learned it in my own youth...but i hadn't ever thought about it from the other side of the table.  and that day, listening to those lyrics sung with such enthusiasm from these children, who will one day be such role models to my son just made me so thankful.  so thankful that they were being taught such a valuable lesson at such a young age, so thankful that camden will one day as well...and thankful for those people in his life, who will walk with him, and talk with him and love him because he is ever so worth it.

and i tried to compose myself in that restroom, as best i could, and when i came out i found two wonderful women who had followed me to make sure that i was ok.  and i was...because i wasn't sad that camden might have those moments that the song spoke of, that he might feel lonely or left out or bullied (even though i know it will most definitely happen from time to time, and that knowledge does hurt)...it was because the song gave me hope...hope that there will be children that camden grows up with who will understand and who will stand up for him, and say "i will, i will".

a little bit of california...

barefoot...

we have had a lot going on lately.  long car rides.  too many goodbyes.  but life is still good, and wholesome and beautiful. 

last night after about seven hours of our twelve hour car ride...camden might have begun losing his mind. and not in a good way.  the cry outs from a fifteen year old uncle sharing a back seat with a two year old are still ringing loudly in my ears today.  "ow camden, don't kick me".  so we took a short break, and i let camden walk around the car in a black asphalt parking lot barefoot for about twenty minutes. we walked in circles, stepped up and off the curb again and again, we picked at the grass, we felt the sun beat down and the wind blow by.  we took a long deep breath.  and when it was all said and done, the little put up one heck of a fight about getting back into that car seat of his...but then i noticed something...tiny black feet, stained from the dirt in the parking lot.  

this observation might not be significant to you...but it was to me. in two years, camden has never had dirt stained feet.  and i took the moment in and realized how much joy two tiny feet could bring to me, that moment surpassed the goodbyes, the long ride, the tantrums, the kicking...and thoughts of a tiny toddler walking around barefoot with tiny dirt stained feet this summer made my heart melt and brought a smile to my face. 

i wonder if i will notice the little things with my other kids...i hope so, i can't imagine life without them. 

i love you...

Camden (with prompting) started saying "i love you" through a mix of words and signs a few weeks ago :) i took video...it sounds more like (i of uuu) and he signs i by pointing to himself and love by puting his hands over his heart and moving his shoulders side to side, and "you" goes back and forth, it starts with a finger at you and then it ends at him haha, he apparently loves himself too ;) and i don't blame him, not one bit! here are the best videos i could manage...he is really only half paying attention when the camera is going, but you get the idea...

i am happy to report that after a few weeks of prompting, every other minute of every day, because i love it so...camden is now using the phrase all on his lonesome...and i melt. 

what we have been up to...

sleep study...don't worry, he fell right to sleep, and did great!

new favorite toy these days: legos (he still needs some help, but is getting pretty good)

he toddles around the house all day...although we are still waiting for the lightbulb to click and for camden to realize that he can walk full time...

finger painting...he loves it.

getting into trouble...

sushi...

walks outside...

  

making messes in dad's office...

the zoo...

naps are getting shorter, so we try to soak in what we can...

 big boy carseats....

and loving life.