Friday, December 2, 2011


i have days, where all i want to do is vent...about camden, about down syndrome, about terrible twos...and i feel oh so overwhelmed. and when my husband comes home at night and asks how our day was, sometimes i just want to cry, because the day is already over, and the dishes are piled high, the crumbs are building under the highchair, the laundry is a week over due, and i haven't even showered...i joke to him that one day i will wake up in my forties and wonder where my life went...i say joke although, i am fairly certain that will most definitely happen. how do the days go by so fast? sometimes i feel like everyday i wake up running and reaching and i can never quite catch up, there is always more to do...there is always another mealtime, there is always another therapy session, there is always another tantrum, there is always more cleaning to do...

but at the end of each day, after the venting is over, and camden is sleeping soundly, breathing slowly, smiling sweetly in his dreams i inevitably feel the peace...i remember the laughs, i remember the dances, i remember the sweet kisses and the oh so tight hugs from tiny arms...the milestones, the personality, oh the personality, the songs, the walks, the awe that only a child's eyes can hold. and i smile...because on that day, when i wake up and wonder where the years have gone...i will know they have been spent to the pitter patter of ever so tiny feet, the joy of a first smile, a first laugh, first steps, first days of school, first dates...i will know that my years have gone into the people around me, and i can't think of anyplace i would rather spend them.


  1. You took the words out of my mouth and couldn't have written it better. I love reading your blog :)

  2. to TRUE!! sometimes venting is the only way to move past what is bothering us...and when you write it down it is like you can forget it for a bit! I love the moment before I close my eyes for the night and I remember all the goodness that happened in my day! it makes me excited to wake up for the next day and what is to come! because with a 2 year old you just never know! smiles

  3. I so get it! Although I still have several years before I hit 40 I do have days where I wake up and think "how am I almost in my mid thirties?". The last several years (since having babies) have flown by almost as if someone hit fast forward! My laundry is never totally finished, I unload the dishwasher at least once a day and I stopped trying to keep up with the crumbs...yet everyday I wake up ready and anxious to do it again!

  4. so beautifully written! I think that we even have extra to cram into our days with all of the therapy appointments and working working working we do with our kids! Hope you get some time to relax and rest this Christmas season! wish we could get together for a playdate to commiserate. (-:

  5. My son is now 17, and I look back at when he was little. I had 4 kids all close in age. I was so busy all the time I couldn't even see straight! Even now looking back I am not sure how I did it. But know that what I did must have been okay. Why? Because all my boys are healthy and well adjusted. Just don't put so much pressure on yourself. Enjoy those little moments. He is going to be fine! Believe me, even at 17 Ryan still teaches me new things and I still get to see that excitement in his eyes. The difference now? I have learned to relax and take things as they come.

    becky bennett in Texas


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