mommyhood...

there is a point in motherhood when you stop worrying about the fact that your child just threw up in your hair...you grab a ponytail, strip down, put on those big girl panties and rock that little one until he settles down and falls asleep in your arms...and then you look down on that sweet, peaceful face and can't imagine being any luckier than you are, vomit soaked hair and all.

toddlers...

try not to let the below picture deceive you this kid is trouble...

camden still isn't a full time walker...but he is getting there...and with his new found freedom the trouble in this second year has increased dramatically.  this morning i woke up to change four, yes four, stinky diapers in one hour...camden then proceeded to bash his head into the tv stand and his toy chest in my bathroom.  i usually put cam in the bath while i take a shower (it keeps him occupied and my shower overlooks the tub in case there is a fall)...today camden had already pooped four times, so i figured i was safe...cam gets in the tub, mom gets into the shower...cam assumes the potty position as he signs potty i drop the shampoo and jump out as quickly as i can, drenched mind you, to grab him from the tub and stick him on the potty...but he doesn't go and i am dripping and he is laughing so i throw a diaper on him and hop back in the shower to race to the finish line (i only need like 3 minutes tops these days to get the necessities done) camden in that time frame decides to throw two used diapers into the still full tub along with a set of pj's and a sweater...all the while i am screaming NO CAMDEN as soap suds run down my face...i jump out of the shower several times to pull him away from dumping anything else in the tub before it finishes draining...he opens all of the drawers and proceeds to dump every hair accessory and random item in said drawers onto the floor...at this point i am just thankful he is busy and that i closed the door to the toilet.  i finish my shower and then realize my hair brush (along with several other items) has been missing for two days now...i have no idea where he puts anything anymore.  i hurry and comb through my hair with a travel brush (i have ridiculously thick hair and so this task is a nightmare in itself)...i turn on the blow dryer and camden hates the stupid blow dryer so i get to listen to him try to scream louder than it and throw a little tantrum while i desperately try to get my hair more damp than dripping...i gave up. and at this point i am just thankful we have no where to be today. 

however...i will take the extra trouble...and hope it doubles soon, because this man of mine is going places and a little trouble here and there is more than made up for with a little arms wrapped around your neck kiss right on the lips. 

stache bash...

prepare for picture overload...

decor:

birthday boy:

photo booth:  (didn't get everyone, but here is who we did get...)

 

 

 

 

and it wouldn't be a birthday without this guy...

 

 he is two!!!!!!!!

broken...

i was told once...to let go of jealousy, fear and pride.  i have thought often of these things...they are feelings everyone has, but i understand just why i need to let them go personally...they have held me back my entire life.  they keep me from accomplishing, from living, from loving.  i was given a gift in camden, i know he was made specifically for me, because i need him.  i needed a moment, a glimpse of my broken self, i needed to be torn down so that i could be built back up...and who better to put those peices of my heart back than a child so unconditionally full of love, a child who will undoubtedly face and combat jealousy, fear and pride in the people around him everyday of his life.  i have learned so much in just two short years...about love, about the things that are important in life, about myself.  i have learned to let go of a lot of things...and i still struggle every day with the aforementioned demons in my life...but i know camden is slowly picking me up off that hospital floor every day...that he is putting me back together the way i needed to be put back together. and i am ever so thankful for my tiny, beautiful gift.