Thursday, February 2, 2012

broken...

i was told once...to let go of jealousy, fear and pride.  i have thought often of these things...they are feelings everyone has, but i understand just why i need to let them go personally...they have held me back my entire life.  they keep me from accomplishing, from living, from loving.  i was given a gift in camden, i know he was made specifically for me, because i need him.  i needed a moment, a glimpse of my broken self, i needed to be torn down so that i could be built back up...and who better to put those peices of my heart back than a child so unconditionally full of love, a child who will undoubtedly face and combat jealousy, fear and pride in the people around him everyday of his life.  i have learned so much in just two short years...about love, about the things that are important in life, about myself.  i have learned to let go of a lot of things...and i still struggle every day with the aforementioned demons in my life...but i know camden is slowly picking me up off that hospital floor every day...that he is putting me back together the way i needed to be put back together. and i am ever so thankful for my tiny, beautiful gift.

5 comments:

  1. Lady - this is why I love you. You are so insightful and inspiring.

    I think that we all get the same lessons in life - they just manifest themselves in a unique and individual ways. I too struggle with the same things (jealousy, fear, pride) and pray that I can overcome it all with half as much grace and beauty as you have deomonstrated in the last two years.

    Love you girl. (and can't wait for sushi tonight!)

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  2. I really wish we could be friends IRL. This is exactly how I feel...beautifully written!

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  3. Awww Ton you are so sweet. You are the best mom I know, seriously

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  4. Such a beautiful post! You said it so perfectly.

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