because i love him...

i want to help olga
(please see her story at a perfect lily)

and the other children at reece's rainbow.

one of those...

it was one of those days. you know the kind...when, you can't wake up and you immediately get that feeling...the go back to bed and throw those covers back over that head of yours feeling. yep, one of those days.

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one of those days...when, as you pack to leave the house in a rush you can smell a fresh diaper, so you hurry to change a wiggly little boy who refuses to stay on his back long enough to get the diaper off let alone wipe whatever else is left over...and as you try to get a fresh one strapped on before roley poley oley runs away naked and free you can feel your chances at getting that bottom of his clothed decreasing by the second, and your time is running out.

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one of those days...when, with fifteen minutes left to feed said naked child lunch he decides lunch means steal the spoon from mom time. after six spoons, a mess of a floor and a half fed child you have to give up, grab what you can, try to clothe that bare butt baby and strap shoes onto feet that are ever crawling away.

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one of those days...when, you reach your destination and you notice, because an amused friend ever so sweetly points out, that you put your child's shoes on the wrong feet...and as you sit down to lunch for yourself, you switch his shoes back and realize that the steal the spoon game earlier left your just washed jeans, unknowingly, drenched in bright orange sweet potatoes.

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yep it was one of those days...when the universe tried to warn me...and i didn't listen.

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at least i got a few good laughs out of it. and yummy lunch with yummy friends.

doctors...

i feel as though one is the magic number for doctor appointment overhaul...even more so than when he was a newborn...alright i take that back, he had way more, and more frequently before six months than he does at one...but for the last six months i was spoiled and forgot that at one he would have to see all of his doctors again...so here is what our month of march looks like:

march 9th health assessment at jordan development center (hearing and overall health)
march 10 cardiologist for an echo cardiogram and instructions for the next six months
march 14th early intervention
march 15th speech therapy evaluation
march 16th urology appointment
march 21st physical therapy evaluation
march 22nd primary's down syndrome clinic
march 25th early intervention

still to schedule: cam's one year early intervention evaluation, one surgery (which the urologist will consult on), a re-do on last month's unsuccessful blood draw (which i have been procrastinating) and a possible swallow study.

and i know i am spoiled and a lot of children have a much heavier schedule than this on a regular basis...but for future reference, next year i am spreading them out a bit more...especially since we spent the month of february in the instacare with four sets of the flu for our three member family.

but...i am thankful and blessed that we live in a day and age where camden has solutions to his health care needs, so bring on those doctors!

this face...

camden came into play with mommy this morning at six thirty...but mommy has a secret...if she pretends to stay asleep, camden will eventually go back to sleep too. i love our snuggle time, and i don't get quite as much of it these days so i am all for the extra morning zzzz's. extra until about ten a.m. when cam finally decided to play again. i don't think i have slept in until ten since, well definitely before camden...and it felt good, it felt right....and who wouldn't have a good day after waking up to this face? ok so i didn't wake up to that face exactly this morning...but i do get to see that little face three times a day now that camden has decided self feeding is all that he wants to do. he doesn't quite make it every time, hardly any actually, and the spoon ends up mostly on the floor, purposefully, and he resorts to his hands mostly...but we don't mind...because who wouldn't want to clean this up three times a day right?

bonds...

a friend asked the other night about being a mom...she has been thinking about starting the journey, taking that leap, but is nervous...so i told her...i can honestly say that i loved my life before camden, i loved being married, i loved my freedom...but, i can also say that i have never been happier.

there really is something about the joy a child can bring into your life. now, that doesn't mean i don't have those mom moments where i feel annoyed, angry or stressed with camden, but it does mean that the sacrifices that i make on behalf of camden are necessary to help in forming that unending bond between a mother and a child. those times where i miss my freedom, those times i want to pull my hair out...are the times that make those intimate moments of love the most joyful moments in your life, because the effort makes it worth it.

thanks for teaching me everyday little one.

desires...

photo courtesy of billy bush

today, as i was cleaning up camden's room, he lay playing with his toys and i noticed something...as i watched him crawl/scoot his way over to his drum, position it and push himself up into sit to play with it...this kid is driven. he has wants, and desires beyond his needs. when did that happen? when did he become such a little person? when did he start playing? like really playing!? when did he get such a personality? i can't wait to see where he goes from here.

laughter...

it's 11:15pm as i start this...can't sleep, not that i sufficiently tried. it's been a long week, with countless sleepless nights, another flu, a slight case of the chickenpox from one year vaccinations, a few trips to the doctor (okay, after the last two weeks i might start to consider the hospital my second home) and a few prescription drugs. but we are alive, and camden's newest personality growth spurt has kept us happy, smiling and laughing.

have i mentioned that my boy likes, no loves, to dance...and the little guy has rhythm too. it started at around 8 months i want to say...when propped up on his arms he would sway a little to music, if he could hear some. it has now blossomed into a full on boogie...standing, sitting, laying...really in whatever position he may find himself in as a beat passes by on a tv show or commercial, the radio or dad singing...pretty much any beat will do. he might stop for a second as he looks over to you, as if to say...don't you hear that mom? aren't you going to dance? so i appease him and find myself in a dancing mood for the 30 seconds that the music might last and once i start to dance he begins again too. it really is quite adorable.

and the kisses...oh boy the kisses. this one has it bad for mad affection. and not just any kisses, the climb into your face and nose kiss you while i simultaneously hold you down and eat your cheek kisses. i really can't get enough of them.

he has also found his ability to capture attention...and it doesn't really matter who's attention that he gets...but be careful because once he gets it, he isn't going to let you go. this boy will do anything...wave vigorously, clap (three thousand times because you will inevitably say yay and clap along and he just can't get enough of that action), mom's all time favorite...pull your hair, yell, but in a cute funny way (well to us, maybe not to bystanders) he chucks everything off of his highchair...bread, crackers (but not before he squishes them into sand in his hands), juice, spoons, well pretty much everything, and then he looks over at me with this tiny grin that says: what mom? i finished! and we have inevitably become that family in the restaurant that leaves our table and those surrounding us in small shambles, even after i try to pick up what i can off the floor. but he is still shy at heart...and he nuzzles into me at first sight until he warms up a bit and i revel in it.

sunshine in january...

maybe it's because i woke up to the sound of a snow plow this morning...but i am feeling a bit nostalgic today...for the warmth of sun and the sight of baby bare skin...
honestly...is there really anything better than that? and i would be lying if i were to say that i don't revel in the fact that my boy loves water and sunshine as much as his mommy does...
maybe even a bit more...because while my feet were going numb from the winter touched ocean camden was having the time of his life in those waves...

and the taste of sand doesn't seem to bother him either, because after he choked down his first handful...he might have gone back to sneak in a few others...

we miss you california....

welcome home...

i haven't been a very good blogger lately...mostly because the last week has been anything but blog worthy...let's just say last night was the first full night of sleep i have had since we got home from california last monday...oh, ps. we spent the last 6 weeks there, and it was glorious. we came home to -2 after weeks of 60-70's, the flu for dad and mom, and our one year check up, with shots and a very unsuccessful blood draw, followed up by one very unhappy little man...who lost his voice on friday and saturday from three straight days of non-stop wailing, needless to say, i am not a fan of one year shots. it was probably just bad timing, and had nothing to do with the shots, but they are associated now with camden's hardest week ever, well, besides the 10 day stint in the nicu after his birth. but we are alive. we made it through, and boy am i happy that we are finally on the other side.
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lots and lots of california pictures to come!