Wednesday, April 6, 2011

is it hard...

i was asked this question once...i was caught off guard, and had forgotten at that point in time that camden had down syndrome. so instead of catching onto the meaning behind the question, i answered as any new mom would have, "no, well, motherhood isn't easy, but i wouldn't say it is too hard".

as i walked away, it dawned on me...i wasn't asked about being a mother, i was asked if being camden's mother was hard. it hit me like a ton of bricks, you know the feeling, breath knocked out of you...but not because i was offended by the question, because i thought maybe i had missed a great teaching opportunity. all at once a million answers flashed through my mind...they all consisted mostly of the extreme opposites of hard..."i wouldn't have him any other way", "he is the best baby ever and i don't know what i will do when we have a typical child", "he has been so much fun"...which are all quite true, but they don't really answer the question do they?

camden had physical therapy this morning...getting there on time at eight am, dressed, fed, ready to work, that might have been a challenge. listening to what the words "sensory processing issues" meant, that was maybe a little harder...watching camden struggle to do things that a ten month old can do in their sleep, can be a little daunting. reading the phrase severe delays on his evaluations was tough. thinking about his future, is sometimes a little scary.

but...only when i can't see his face. because that smile of his, well it makes me forget, everything...because when he smiles, it's just me and him. and when he took those first crawls forward, when he pulled with all of his might up to stand, when he rolled his hands while playing patty cake, when he finally understood something, and he smiled in triumph...that was life changing.

so after over analyzing my abundant possible answers, i landed back at my first...
"motherhood isn't easy" (but it is life changing in a multitude of magnificent ways).


  1. Motherhood is hard, challenging, time consuming, frustrating, exhausting, worrisome and wonderful...all of those descriptions apply to raising any child! I loved this post and I loved the fact that it didn't even dawn on you that they were referring to's amazing when you get to that point where Ds isn't the first thing on your's freeing!

    I think Camden is doing amazing...not to mention he's cute as can be!

  2. this is great! Motherhood is hard and strange and complicated...but that is with any child...Motherhood with our kiddos beautiful, interesting, and the smiles...WoW the SMILES

  3. such a great post. someone said to me the other day that i was in for a rude awakening when my second baby was born....almost like the motherhood experiences i've already had don't count for anything. i've been wanting to do a post on it, but haven't had the nerve since it was a close family member.
    we have extra things to deal with, but that doesn't make us any less mothers or able to answer basic motherhood questions and not just "ds motherhood" questions.
    (btw, loved Camden's dancing videos. hysterical!)

  4. "because that smile of his, well it makes me forget everything"... love that!

  5. I've had people ask me the same question about my Autistic son. Yes, he's hard, but he's so worth it! He has some amazing strengths that none of my other 11 children have and they more than make up for his weaknesses. Just enjoy him and don't worry about what other people think.

  6. Ah... as always you've said it just right!

  7. That is beautiful! You really have a way with words so others feel your emotions to some degree! Beautiful!


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