Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Family dynamics...

I ran across an interesting fact this morning...families that have a child with Down syndrome have a lower divorce rate than families where there is no diagnosed disability. It made me think about my own marriage and although we are only six years in I can confidently say that Camden's diagnosis was a definite turning point in our relationship. Billy and I had been married for three and a half years..we had settled into life together but we were still very much learning more about the other every day. We had planned Camden, we decided at the beginning of married life that we wanted to give ourselves three years before we let a kid come into the picture (I have no clue why this number was so important but it was). I guess you could say we took the traditional advice to heart, and we wanted to give our marriage time to settle, we wanted time to ourselves.

The day that we found out about Camden, Billy became my strength...he was my rock and for the first time in three and and a half years we cried together...and I knew that there was no one else on earth I wanted to be on this journey with. I would not be the mother I am today if I did not have the partner I have today.

Camden has brought love, life and new hope into our family...he has taught both of his parents what is truly important in life...we now know how to support one another above all else and we are better for it. We are better because of the child that we put off for three years.

I know this statistic is just a statistic and it alone does not guarantee that any marriage will make it over others but I do know that having a child with Down syndrome would not be the reason for our marriage to ever end. And I am thankful for the man who chose me to be the mother of his children because even through the scary unknown times in our marriage, with Camden...he stood strong, he put us above all else and he still continues to do so everyday.


  1. Big. Fat. Smile.On. My. Face.

    p.s. best picture ever.

  2. I have lived this as well (and I think it's hilarious that we both waited the exact same amount of time before having our first baby) (-: Thank you for this beautiful post. So many people are citing ruined marriages as a reason to NOT bring a child with Down syndrome into the world. Just one more way off-base justification.

  3. Loved this! I can honestly say Russell's birth, the diagnosis, and what we went through in the weeks that followed brought Brad and I closer together. It strengthened our marriage in so many ways.
    This was a beautiful post Tonya :)


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