Sunday, October 2, 2011

not the plan...

when camden was born i remember distinctly thinking, this was not in my plan. i had little to no experience with anyone with special needs and although as a mother to be all of those what ifs run rapidly through your head, you definitely don't plan on them. i didn't quite know how to respond to the sudden change, i felt hurt, i wondered if it was some how my fault, i flashed to an unknown future, i thought about hospitals, i wondered how long my newborn would make it, i feared for his future, and selfishly mourned what i thought was the loss of the plan i had laid out for myself.

then i remembered something, it isn't just about my plan....because i believe that my Heavenly Father has a plan for me too...and once i remembered that, i realized just how beautiful and exciting adding this journey to my plan could be...even if sometimes i might face an uncertain future (as we all do) i can feel peace knowing that i am not alone. camden has brought more love and joy into our home than i ever thought possible, and everyday i am thankful for the ability i had to reach out, scoop him up into my arms and add him to my plan...because sometimes the things we think we never would have wanted in this life become more than we could have ever asked for.

"if you want hard to create it, but leave cushion for the unexpected and embrace everything outside of that 'perfect' vision as good and meaningful parts of your story you would have never had the opportunity to know had you stuck to the script."

kelle hampton, enjoying the small things

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