Friday, October 21, 2011

selfish...

note: the following is rant, so reader beware. it is also my second post for today, making up for the day i missed ...

i read a comment on another mommy blog that was made in context of the new test that is out for mother's to diagnose down syndrome at ten weeks. the comment was made in defense of aborting a baby with down syndrome because the author thought it was a selfish act to bring a baby into this horrible world that would undoubtedly have so many hardships...they went onto ask who would take care of the child once the parents had died and asked how it is considered ok to place that responsibility on the child's siblings or society in general (as if we parents who have these children don't think about the future and provisions for our children).

i have so many feelings about this comment...more so than the usual uneducated comments. the first is heart ache, because this person lacks compassion, and i can't imagine a life worth less than one that lacks compassion for others. the second is anger, because to say someone is selfish for allowing a life to come into the world, regardless of the effects it will have on their own, is the least selfish thing i can think of. i didn't have a choice with camden, we didn't find out until birth and either way it wasn't a choice for us based on our belief system...but i can say that i only have the utmost respect for those who decided to love that little one growing in their womb, regardless of their fears for the future. third, people with disabilities not only contribute to society purposefully but inadvertently as well. they teach love, generosity, compassion and respect, which are all things i believe this world could use more and more of each and every day. fourth, who is charged with taking care of you when you get too old? your children? society? and is it then selfish to allow yourself to live that long? how are people with disabilities worth any less than any other person on earth? and how is saying that ok and not considered a form of racism and how is the act of trying to eliminate the existence of a certain type of person not considered genocide?

there are so many other things to say, but my mommy boxing gloves might come out with those, and i am sure that there are so many other things this commenter and i disagree with, like the existence of God, so i will leave it with reaffirming what i have said before...i love my son, he has made me a better individual, his life is worth living, even if he isn't what most would think of as "normal"...and honestly i can't think of anything more that i wouldn't want any of my children to be than "normal". i had no idea how worthwhile his life would be, until i had him...and anyone who says different has either no experience with the subject and is therefore wholly uneducated or has little to no compassion and lacking in the most beautiful and fulfilling human emotion, love without limitation.

he is valued, he is loved and does love, and his life does have worth.

the end.

4 comments:

  1. i am so glad camden was sent to your family. it breaks my heart that any baby is aborted, but that a baby who might otherwise have been "wanted" would be aborted because they may have a disability (no test is perfect, and surely some of these babies test results are falsely positive) kills me. what if there were a test to detect my weaknesses and personality flaws, would they recommend terminating me too? anyone with the audacity to decide whose life is worth living is dangerously trying to play God, and should let God be God.

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  2. My first thought when I read this (and there were a lot of first thoughts!)... is that it is SO sad that this person, with beliefs like these, would never be able to feel the joy of one of God's most precious. Trust me, all it would take is sitting Cam in church for two seconds for her to change her mind.

    But that will never happen because he/she isn with opions like this is closed to the very best that life has to offer which is just...

    Extreamly sad.

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  3. Reading those comments broke my heart too. I cannot believe people can have so little compassion. And this new test is a type of genocide...There is no other word for it! I guess we just need to be thankful that our boys came to our families, into our homes, where they are loved and valued beyond words.

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  4. I read a man make similar comments a couple days after we found out that our baby might have Ds when I was pregnant. I couldn't believe it, it made me cry and I didn't even know my little girl yet. I still can't believe that there are people out there with such backwards beliefs. It is completely opposite of what is true, opposite of Heavenly Father's plan. Our children not only deserve to live, their lives have more purpose than I could ever express. It just breaks my heart to know that others don't see that. We are the lucky ones to have them in our families. I just have to tell myself when I hear about comments and people like that, "they are the ones with the problem, they are the ones that are missing out on the beauty, and thats just sad".

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